After two years of being in and out of the office, Zoom meetings and virtual Christmas parties, it’s not surprising that many of us are feeling disconnected from our co-workers.
Some of us might even feel quite left out right now, seeing everyone else going ahead and having fun plans with co-workers and posting fun pictures on Instagram.
Never fear, there are lots of things we can do to help connect with our co-workers again and help ourselves get a little more popular around the water cooler. Let’s face it, it’s always easier to go to work when we feel that we have friends there and think that people like us. It isn’t the be all and end all, but we would be naive if we said we all didn’t want a little popularity at work.
Don’t try so hard
The number one deterrent of other people is a vibe of desperation. If you are trying really hard constantly to get your colleagues’ attention, it won’t make you more popular and can, in fact, get the opposite reaction from what you want.
Especially if you have just started a new job in a new place, it is important to take your time with developing relationships with your colleagues. Try and relax and know that it all will come eventually, we just need to be patient and put in a little bit of effort from our side but not too much.
As cliché as it may sound, just be yourself. Don’t put on any kind of performance or mask to make friends because most people can smell it from a mile off. Be yourself and take your time to develop proper, authentic friendships.
Join meetings and after work events, even on Zoom
If you are shy or you find yourself too busy to join meetings or events where your colleagues will be, you might be missing out on a lot of valuable time to connect with your colleagues and strengthen your bond with them. You should always try to go whenever you can, even if it is just a Zoom or Teams meeting.
Again, the same principle as number one, don’t talk too much and don’t try and gain all the attention, this will only make your co-workers feel frustrated and/or overwhelmed. Try your best to fit naturally into conversation and make sure to contribute actively.
It’s a fine balance between contributing enough to be part of things and to be actively involved, and not so much that it excessive for those around you.
You’ll get the hang of it.
Don’t gossip
It might be very tempting to gossip about your co-workers to other co-workers, especially when you want to make friends with the person who is doing the gossiping. But gossiping is not a form of connection, it is only a form of negativity and drama that usually comes back to bite you further down the line. Try your best to stay away from it and if someone does gossip to you give them non-participating responses such as, “oh really? That’s interesting. I feel stressed about work sometimes too”. Don’t let your guard down and say anything that will incriminate or exclude you down the line.
All you really have to do is relax, be yourself, and be a positive force as much as you can.
The rest will follow.
