Having a break-up is never easy, regardless of how many you have had before or what age you are. They always suck and they always hurt.
You might think that whatever you do in the post-break-up stage doesn’t matter and you will feel as miserable no matter what you do. But this isn’t necessarily true. Yes, you will probably always feel heartbroken for a certain period of time but that is ok, that is normal. But you can make things a little bit easier on yourself and prevent yourself from causing any further harm or heartache for yourself.
There are always ways that we can improve situations for ourselves, even when they seem as bad as we could possibly imagine.
Go “no contact”
You might be tempted to try and stay friends with your ex-partner as soon as you break up and you might want to stay in contact with each other. But this is a bad idea.
Being exes doesn’t mean that you can never be friends, but you shouldn’t try to be friends as soon as the break-up happens. You both need time apart to heal and reflect on everything that happened.
You will get lots of impulses to reach out to your ex after the break-up, after all, your body and brain are used to being in constant contact with them. But you should try and have a break from each other for at least one month if you can. It will be hard and uncomfortable at the start but it is ultimately the best thing you can do for both of you and your respective healing.
Let your feelings out
Trying to hold everything in to be strong never works. All you will do is suppress your feelings and make them harder to deal with further down the line. The best thing you can do for yourself in the immediate aftermath of your breakup is let yourself feel your feelings and let those feelings out.
Crying, writing angry letters, eating ice cream, throwing rocks… Whatever it is you want to do.
Everyone has to go through the necessary stages of grief when it comes to processing a break-up and you can’t skip them. If you try to all you do is delay them and they tend to pop up later in mysterious ways.
Let it all out and let yourself grieve.
Be around friends and family as much as you can
You might want to be alone for a short while to process your thoughts and allow private grieving to happen, but it’s really key in a break-up that you surround yourself with people who love and care for you.
Being alone right now will only make you feel entirely isolated and alone in your life in the wake of this separation.
Connecting with other people will remind you that your ex wasn’t everything and that there is life and love outside of that relationship.
It will be tough for a while but, in the end, you will be ok and you will be glad of this journey. Hang on in there.
